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An over thinkers guide to life, Puggles, family and so much more

Overthinking is a nightmare. Due to a back operation I have too much time on my hands and too much time to think. This is how I deal with it and survive

Tag: daily diary (Page 1 of 3)

Today was a shock

i am writing this blog while sat in a hospital ward with a baby in the next cubicle that has cried solidly for about 3 hours grrrrrr.  Today started normally.  Then I had a telephone call this afternoon from our GP saying I needed to take my son straight to the emergency room.  I had better give you a bit of back ground.  The weekend before last my son slept at a friends and complained he had a pain in his chest.  He walked home and said he couldn’t breathe properly.  Over the course of the weekend the pain increased and it made him stoop as he walked.  He seemed to improve slightly then last Thursday I get him in at the GP.  The doctor sent him to the hospital straight away for an X-ray as he couldn’t hear air in the right lung.

My parents took,him for the X-ray as I was working they said afterwards the results will be with the GP within 7 – 10 days,  over the weekend he improved and even went to a party on Friday night.  I was shocked when I got the call this afternoon,  I was told to go straight to th emergency room.  When we arrived we were rushed straight to resus. (Resusitation) and was told he had a punctured lung which had caused it to partially collapse. He was operated on straight away and had a chest drain put in. He spent most of th night in resus and was transferred to the ward at 1am.

He is doing well but we are shattered.  I am shocked and disgusted that he was sent home for the weekend and it was so serious he could have died.

Its a waiting game now.  We need to make sure his lung inflates sufficiently.  He s bored already.  Anyway the baby has finally stopped crying so it’s sleep time.


No more shit today please

I have been very quiet on here lately, but it’s not been quiet at home. My daughter came back a month ago.  After a fall out it’s her dad. She accused him of hitting her and I don’t doubt her one bit.  That’s what he does.  She was lovely for a while but the old traits have started to return.  I have also been having a battle with him about money.  He won’t give me any.  So been struggling this month.

It all come to a head on Thursday my daughter and her brother ended up fighting.  She had been particularly nasty and doesn’t have any qualms about calling me a fat bitch or a slag.  My son was sticking up for me which he does.  Anyway she ended up kicking me across the room.  I asked her dad to pick her up and he refused and he told me to call the police which I did.  The police man spoke to her and she was crying.  I told him I didn’t want to press charges and hoped the taking too had made her realise she can’t behave like that.  I know she has learnt her abusive behaviour from her dad, but she is 16  and it isn’t an excuse.  After then police man had gone she apologised, but didn’t mean it and carried on being the same.

Friday she was ok, she cleaned up and I thought maybe she it had sunk in,  yesterday she woke up in a bad mood.  Her dad had lied to her and said he didn’t tell he me to call the police.  It was a down right lie and some how she has believed it.  It frustrates me that no matter what happens her Dad is wonderful in her eyes and can’t do wrong.  He may hit her but she forgets it.  He is a horrible person and in a way I can understand this.  I lived with years of  abuse and he convinced me it was me who was wrong not him.  He messed with my mind and by the end of our relationship I didn’t know what what’s going on.  I needed years of therapy to live a normal life.  I have tried to help her.  Take her to the doctor but she says that there is nothing wrong with her.  I think she has learned his narcissistic ways and uses them on me. As that’s what he does.  It’s so sad but I am at a loss what to do.

She was plain nasty yesterday she got into another fight with her brother and because I didn’t stick up for her she called me a fat bitch and a slag.  I told her to go to her Dads and move off the settee she wouldn’t listen.  So we went out to a friends.  I decided I wouldn’t speak to her when I got back as I am sick of the abuse.  She tried to act like nothing had happened, but the name calling and abuse is too much to put up with.  She had fallen out with her dad too but by the end of it she told him what he wanted to hear and he transferred some money into her account. She told him she will live half and half at our houses.  So he doesn’t need to pay me anything.   I saw the text and I am furious as she knows how I struggle.  They are both stupid as my son lives with me and he is supposed to pay for him !!! I will save that battle for another day.  I am tired and sick of it all.

Today I am taking no shit off anyone.

Daily diary – it’s not really my type of soup.



I promised you some puppy pictures they are the cutest most adorable puppies ever. Two of them are opening their eyes and they are developing their own personalities. I am still a bit poo obsessed through. I haven’t seen them poo in days. I rang the vet yesterday and they said. I will be missing their mum cleaning them up and if I am still concerned call back in a few days. They seem content and not in any pain so I think the vet is right. Although I still would like to see some poo to put my mind at rest.

I will update you more on their development soon. We are still getting up in the night with them but I think it will be ok to leave their mum with them in a few weeks

I am struggling with my diet. Fruit is no where near as good as chocolate and I don’t care what people say to convince me otherwise they are  wrong. It doesn’t help living with a gannets who never puts on any weight. I will admit when I was weighed when I had my scan I was 12 stone. That is terrible I used to be in the high 10 stones so I have put over a stone on. Even before I thought I needed to loose weight. So I am really trying hard.

I am not following a weight plan and I can’t  stick to those but trying to eat more fruit and vegetables. I felt peckish last night and had an apple my boyfriend said “while you are in there can you get me a chocolate roll”. How cruel is that ?

Today I decided to make some soup. I said shall I make some leek and potato soup. He said “yes as a starter “. So I cobbled some ingredients together. After spending about 20 minutes making it. He said “I don’t really like leak and potato soup I prefer tomato”. Well all I can think there is more left for me and my son. It’s also a cheap meal. The leaks were £1.00 for 4 and I only used 2 and the potatoes were pence and 1 used 5. I just added lamb stock and garlic and herbs and some Worcester sauce. It’s healthy and it fills you up. My son is a fussy eater and he loves soup.

We are having a Sunday clean. My boyfriend is cutting the grass and I am having a clean up and then we are going to watch our new box set “queen of the south”. We have only watched 2 episodes but it looks good. I might also put some more items on eBay.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Goodbye xxx



Daily diary-I feel the world is out to get me or am I just tired ?


Today I feel the world is out to get me. I am being hyper sensitive due to tiredness or are people just being arseholes today ? I think it’s the later.  I asked my boss a question today about £27 a client owed us and could I transfer it over to another matter we had for them.  He said “and why are you asking”.  I said “cause you are my boss” he said “you have just wasted £27 of my time.  I walked out of his room and muttered arsehole under my breath.

This afternoon my parents took me for my mri scan.  I needed another one as my right side is worse after my operation. My mum was on one when I got in the car,started discussing the puppies and saying I really couldn’t afford to keep one.  It upset me as I feel that I have raised these puppies and I won’t be having them again so would love something that is part of both lily and Bailey. They are both characters and a puppies of theirs is bound to be amazing,

I cant believe it’s been a week since they were born. Thus time last week lily had rejected them.  Now she is the best mum ever.  The puppies have grown so much and have nearly doubled their birth weight,  which is how they should be.  I am so proud of what we have achieved.  It’s been hard going and we are sleep deprived.

My son had a girl to the house for the afternoon. I wa allowed to talk to her and even give her a lift home, which is a massive achievement as in the past I couldn’t even say hello.  I made a nice leak and potato bake for tea.  He wanted super noodles for him and his “friend”.  I don’t know what you call them these days as after a few dates you arent automatically a girlfriend like you used to be.  You have to be asked and usually that’s a few months down the line.  I think they are “ talking”. Anyway I am sure she would have preferred by bake buy my son could live off super noodles,

i am off to check on the puppies.

Good night xxx

Daily diary – I feel like I had had triplets. #shattered #no sleep


Sorry I have been neglecting you.  I haven’t even remembered my name let alone remember that I have a blog.  On Sunday I didn’t even bother getting dressed and staid in my pj’s all day and they were  covered in puppy poo and puppy milk.

Its been a hard few days.  No one prepares you for the amount of time you need when your dog has puppies.  Anyone considering doing this should think about it.  I am lucky as I have my son and daughter around, my Dad and boyfriend who are all happy to help. I still feel like I have triplets to care for.  When lily was giving birth I was hoping for a bigger litter.  Thank god she only had a small number.  I wish we still had 4 but nature works this way and we have to accept this.

wr need to make sure that we can do our best to raise our 3 puppies. They are a week old today and they are supposed to have doubled the birth weight and I do not think we will be too far off.

Right I am going as I feel shattered and need to watch the puppies before I can go to sleep.

Daily diary- not the best news


I have been to see the specialist today for my check up after my operation and he said I need another scan on my back as I shouldn’t be experiencing pain in my right leg like I am. He had nothing else to say and couldn’t explain why I felt like this until he had the results of the scan. I was really upset and I thought the operation was the end of the pain and now we are 3 months down the road and I am in as much pain in not worse. I tried not to cry in front of him and I felt my lip shaking as I left the hospital as I was trying to hold back the tears. I got in the car and we drove in silence for 5 minutes then I said to my boyfriend “why don’t you just leave me now! You could find a fit healthy girlfriend instead of a disabled one who can’t even lift a washing basket.” He said “don’t be stupid I don’t want anyone else I love you”.

I will have to see how I go on take the pain killers and get on with it. There is no point feeling sorry for myself as I am lucky. A lot of people suffer from a lot worse. It is easy to feel depressed but I am going to try and not let it get me down.

There is no news with Lily and her pregnancy. There are no tell take signs that she is starting with her labour. We could do with her having her puppies this weekend, but nothing usually goes to plan. It is lovely putting your hand on Lily’s tummy and feeling the puppies move round. I obviously only gently do this. She looks so sad though. I think she will be glad to give birth. I would be more than sad if I had over 4 babies in my stomach.

Right I am off xxxxx

Daily diary – Ive found Father Christmas x 2


It’s a quick one tonight as I need my beauty sleep. Got work tomorrow so going to try and get to sleep early. I will let you know how I get on tomorrow. Wish me luck at work. I will need it

Bye xx

Daily diary. Lily’s got a thick lip


I have two more days off and then it’s back to work.  Although I am only working half a day for a month.  I really don’t want to go back and I haven’t won the lottery.  So it looks like it’s back to work.  It will be good to get back into a routine of going to work and get involved with real life again.  I have enjoyed the time at home with my family and dogs.  My son is so much happier these days.  He is enjoying a house here there is no arguing

Bailey  has been a nightmare full of trouble today.  He isn’t going to be a very responsible dad.  Lily will be a trooper though.  Earlier she started throwing herself all over the settee knocking all the cushions off on to the floor.  When we went in the kitchen there was a wasp on the floor and she had a fat lip.  She had bitten a wasp.  The poor love.  The silly idiot was snapping at flies a few minutes later.

We are going to be really busy with these puppies soon.  We can’t wait.  Dogs are wonderful and we have a rollercoaster ahead.

My daughter messaged me today as if nothing had happened and rang me.  I was very cool with her as she seems to forget all the pain and heartache that she has caused.  She is unbelievsble.  Her Dad is going away for a few days and I have said she isn’t coming to my house as I am sick of the hassle she causes when she comes home.  She has been told that she is going to her grandmas.  I think she is trying to get back into staying here.  She can try all she wants but she isn’t .

Right I am off now night xxx

Daily diary – He would have got away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling facebookers


I was very quiet yesterday on my blog as I had one hell of a day. I mentioned yesterday morning someone has stolen my car. I reported it to the police and never heard a word they weren’t even going to come out to see me. I thought I would put a post on the local buy and sell sites on Facebook and within minutes people were sharing the post all over. I had a number of sightings reported to me as it has a personalised number plate. So my father drove me to the area where it was last seen. We scoured the streets for about an hour and then we had a break through.

The thief had been quite busy that night and a number of other people posted similar posts on Facebook. I got a description of a person seen getting out of my car and it matched a cctv of him stealing some money out of a van. I got a name and where he lived and found the car close to his house. How good is that?

We had to wait for the police to come and then eventually after a number of hours we recovered the car. There was cctv from the scene and the police know who had taken the car and it was the same person who had taken the other items that night.  I  can’t believe how lucky we were and how the power of Facebook can be used in a positive way. Maybe my luck is finally changing.

Daily diary – no gin in sight

Hello told you I would update you on the gin and there isn’t any. I am gutted. I am hoping they will have a delivery next week. I will have to have another look.

Saw my daughters messages today and she has broken her phone again. We literally claimed on my insurance a month ago and she has dropped it again. She must have broken 6 phones in 2 years it’s ridiculous. We can’t claim on the insurance again. I wonder when she will pluck up the courage to tell me. She will have to pay to repair it and she may realise now she is working how hard it is to find £100.

Anyway I am off we are nearly at the end of season 5 of gold rush I want to find out if they have hit their target. We have a really exciting life you know. We like it. We have done all the nights out and partying.  Both me and my boyfriend used to go to the warehouse parties when we were younger and partied all weekend. So gold rush is fine for us these days. We are in our late 40’s now

night xxxxx

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