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An over thinkers guide to life, Puggles, family and so much more

Overthinking is a nightmare. Due to a back operation I have too much time on my hands and too much time to think. This is how I deal with it and survive

Tag: back pain (Page 1 of 2)

Daily diary- Lily come on we are sick of the waiting

Hello

There is still no sign of any puppies we have been on tenterhooks all weekend. We are more worried than anything we want to know that Lily is ok and she has a good birth and there are no health issues.

We obviously excited about the new arrivals too and how many little babies we will need to look after.

I had a Pretty rubbish weekend. Had an issue with my boyfriend. He believed something was acceptable in our relationship which as a person who has been cheated on I will not allow in our relationship. He said he didn’t realise he was doing something wrong but now can see what my issue is. Facebook can cause problems and I do not believe he should message old school friends and place kisses on no matter how innocent it is.  If he wants to do that he should be single. I also asked him if he would be happy with me doing the same and he agreed he wouldn’t. It has damaged me and maybe more that someone who hasn’t been treated the way I have in the past. I am going to try and put this behind me but if it ever happens again he is out.

I feel a bit battered and delicate.

Been to the doctors today and he has upped my pain killers till I get the results of my scan, which I need to have first. I feel a bit spaced out which is helping with the stress of life ha ha.

Anyway hope I can give you good news about the puppies next time I post.

bye xxxxx

Daily diary- not the best news

Hello

I have been to see the specialist today for my check up after my operation and he said I need another scan on my back as I shouldn’t be experiencing pain in my right leg like I am. He had nothing else to say and couldn’t explain why I felt like this until he had the results of the scan. I was really upset and I thought the operation was the end of the pain and now we are 3 months down the road and I am in as much pain in not worse. I tried not to cry in front of him and I felt my lip shaking as I left the hospital as I was trying to hold back the tears. I got in the car and we drove in silence for 5 minutes then I said to my boyfriend “why don’t you just leave me now! You could find a fit healthy girlfriend instead of a disabled one who can’t even lift a washing basket.” He said “don’t be stupid I don’t want anyone else I love you”.

I will have to see how I go on take the pain killers and get on with it. There is no point feeling sorry for myself as I am lucky. A lot of people suffer from a lot worse. It is easy to feel depressed but I am going to try and not let it get me down.

There is no news with Lily and her pregnancy. There are no tell take signs that she is starting with her labour. We could do with her having her puppies this weekend, but nothing usually goes to plan. It is lovely putting your hand on Lily’s tummy and feeling the puppies move round. I obviously only gently do this. She looks so sad though. I think she will be glad to give birth. I would be more than sad if I had over 4 babies in my stomach.

Right I am off xxxxx

Daily diary – lily could be about 59 days pregnant

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hello

Lily could be between 56-59 days pregnant.  Puppies can be born between 58- 63 days so it’s exciting times.  The dogs were on their own this morning while I was at work and I was anxious that she may have had puppies or started her labour while I was out.  Anyway she is fine.  The dogs have been chilling with me on the bed this afternoon as my right side of my back started to hurt again.  I did a few jobs when I got in and thought I had better not push it.  I have been able to put my hand on Lily’s stomach and felt the puppies move.  It’s amazing that she could have up to 9 puppies and certainly over 4 puppies.  I hope she is ok and everything goes smoothly.  My partner ordered a heat mat and it has come today so we are all set up.

I am going to take it easy tonight again as the rest yesterday really helped.  My daughter has messaged me asking if me and my son can have a bonding day with her next week.  I told her I have no money as I don’t want it to be about money as it’s the only time she seems to want me is for money. I am suspicious about her intentions as everytime I get my hopes up I really wished I hadn’t as it’s because she wants me for something.   I hope we can get back on track but I am really not sure and I think she isn’t as happy as she makes out.

Right I am off. I will update you further if Lily has any movement with her puppies



Daily diary – the puppies arrival is imminent

EE3D934D-EF56-4211-8427-A31D350861505F82C5EE-88F4-40C1-B7E5-F9230ECF419AHello

There is great excitement in our house. We think the puppies will be here any day. Lily has milk so that is a sign she will be a new mum soon. It’s a nerve racking time. My partner is really stressed with it. I think he is reading up on it too much. He has bought a heat mat today and said that the nursery ( as he calls it) needs to be a 30 degrees. I even caught him putting the heater on yesterday. God knows why. I am not heating the room to 30 degrees when there are no puppies.

He was even up at 6.30 this morning stressing and I have a feeling he will want to sleep down there tonight. I am more calm about this. Maybe it’s cause I am a mum or the fact my cat has kittens a few years ago while I was out. Now that was stressful as I came home to a kitten on my daughters floor with no sign of the cat. I wrapped it in a towel and eventually found the cat in my sons wardorbe with 6 more kittens,

I will update you daily on the puppy situation and fingers crossed we have some good news soon.

I am still working half days which is good and seeing my consultant on Thursday. I have been in agony since yesterday after I picked 4 files up off the floor stupidly. So going for a lie down. I have now found a new old love for Cagney and Lacey, I used to watch it as a teenager and there are re runs at 2.15 on channel 5.

Speak to you soon.
Xxxxx



Daily diary- 7 and a half weeks pregnant

7BB0FC5D-35EA-447B-B03A-815B0FE309FAHello

i am going to change my daily diary a bit. I am back at work and life seems to have settled a bit for me. I hope I haven’t given it the kiss of death now. While I am still going to give you an insight  to my crazy life. I am going to update you on Lily’s pregnancy and the puppies providing all goes well.

Work has been good. I really feel glad to be back and I am enjoying the routine. While I was off I dished out my work to other fee earners. Most people have generally looked after my work well. A particular girl as our other office has done bugger all. My files have hardly been touched in 10 weeks and the client are going mad. She also had the cheek to ring me at 8.45 on day I came back to ask when I was going over to the other office to collect them. I was fuming as I can’t lift and said I would need help putting the files in and out of my car. I have really helped this girl in the past and when she was on holiday I went over to her office and really cleared all her work. I know now in the future not to help her again. Some people don’t deserve it.

I have been struggling at work pain wise. By dinner time my back and leg is killing me. Luckily I am doing a phased return so I am only working a few hours in the morning for a few weeks. Hopefully it will give me time to recover properly. I have had to take yo my bed in the afternoon.  This will help if the puppies come in the next few weeks.

Going back to Lily. She is not between 7 and 7.5 weeks pregnant. Dogs are only pregnant for 9 weeks so we need to get everything ready for her. My Dad is a joiner and I am going to ask him to maybe  make a bed for her and her puppies.

She seems to be doing quite a bit of sleeping and her tummy is really swelling. She also has terrible wind. I think it’s lily, although it maybe my boyfriend pretending that it’s her.

We have looked on Line and she could have her puppies when she is 56 days pregnant onwards. So in theory she could have her puppies as early as next Wednesday. Then the hard work will start. It’s pretty exciting through.  I have obtained the picture and write up about what to expect from a dog who is 7weeks pregnant from the Royal Cain website.

I mentioned before that when my cupboards are full of food I hate people eating it.  I drive my son and boyfriend mad.  Today my boyfriend is driving me mad as he is eating it like there is no tomorrow.  I shop again in 2 weeks so when it’s gone it’s gone.  They will have to starve.  I think I get mad cause I do the shopping and have to make the shopping last.  Today we had steak for tea.  A money saving tip is we got the fillet steak from Aldi and it was really good and under £6.00per steak.  We usually pay at least £8 and you couldn’t really tell the difference.

Good night speak soon xxxxx

Daily dairy – who one earth only closes one curtain?

 

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i am afraid I have taken to my bed.  I drove to the next town today to get some dog food with my son.  I thought it was the next step and a step towards going back to work.  It felt good to get my independence back.   The only problem is that it has put too much strain on my back.  It has disappointed me as I thought I had recovered and was ready to go back to work very soon.  I do have another 2 and a half weeks off yet and it looks like I am going to have to take this time.

Does anyone else have a boyfriend who’s bad habits drive you mad ? My boyfriend has lived with me for over a year and in recent weeks he has only started closing one curtain. What on earth is all that about? It’s just as easy to close both of the curtains at the same time.  It grates on me.  He also has another bad habit of throwing his dirty washing on the floor.  To be fair he has done this since he has moved it and I have even put a washing basket in the bedroom, but the clothes still can’t make it in there.  Although when I bring the clean washing upstairs in the basket he has an annoying habit    of putting his dirty washing in there.  I then do not know which clothes are dirty or clean.  I have told him I am going to chuck him out if he carries on doing this.  He just laughs and ignore me.  I am obviously joking. He is wonderful in many other ways but two habits really annoy me. I am sure there are more, if I think about it.

I think I have a number of bad habits too and the main one is that if he tells me to do something I do the opposite.  I don’t like to be told what to do, Maybe this is down to my past.  I am now trying to at least do a couple of things he wants me to do.  It was very hard at first, but it’s getting easier as we go on. I think it’s due to me being very independent and being in control of my life.  I do think when you meet someone who you want to share the rest of your life with you need to compromise.

The weather is warming up again.  It’s very close and there isn’t much air about.  I think sleeping will be uncomfortable tonight.  My daughter says that she might sleep here one night this week.  I am really looking forward to it if it happens.  Again I am not getting my hopes up.

Right it’s time to say good bye.  Speak to you tomorrow xxx

Daily diary – I have empty cupboard syndrome

Hello, still no luck on winning the lottery except we have won a lucky dip for wednesdays draw.  I suppose it’s better than nothing. I suppose you have to be in it to win it.

The weekend has been over in the blink of an eye.  We haven’t done an alwful lot to be fair, just watched Gold Rush again.  We are obsessed.  Although we have watched season 4 today and they went off to a place in South America to mine for gold and diamonds.  I was amazed at the devastation they they caused for the small amount of money that they made.  The destroyed large amount of the rain forest and the environmental impact was devastating.  It made me feel quite uncomfortable.

We have had a nice walk tonight just through the woods nearby.  I need to get my fitness back up and Bailey too as he is still panting and the walk was about an hour ago. I think we need to do this every night if the weather stays nice.  I also drove today too.  It was only 5 minutes, but I need to do more of that too.  I am suffering for it a bit now.  When on earth and I going to be back to normal.  If my boyfriend was reading this he would say “ when have you ever been normal?”.

My boyfriend is making some butties for work tomorrow. He is making egg butties.  He has used 5 eggs and 6 pieces of bread.   Isn’t that a bit excessive.  My food ocd is kicking in.  I hate it when all the food goes.  I think I have full cupboard syndrome.

Right I am off now to see if there is enough food left for my dinner tomorrow xxxxxx

Daily diary – The shopping fairies have been

Hello,

The shopping fairies have been today, well we have done an online shopping order.  This is what I always told my children when our food cupboards were full again.  Anyway it was pay day today so we have full cupboards again.  I have a bit of a problem when we have full cupboards which is I don’t like anyone eating anything.  They all laugh at me in our house, but I get really jittery when people eat too much.  God knows why.  I think I am definitely crazy and weird at times.

When my daughter had left home I said to my son “you are happy here aren’t you”.he said “yes, but my Dad has more food than you”.so tonight I sent him a picture of the full fridge and biscuits and said I am looking forward to seeing him soon when he returns from his Dad.  By the way I still haven’t heard a word from my daughter.  I am getting used to it but I had a moment of sadness tonight.  I never like to fall out with people or go to sleep on an argument.  You never know what life holds and it’s always best to be on good terms.  Everyone doesn’t think the same and I have to accept that and get on with it.

righ I am off to sleep as my back is pretty bad tonight.  I struggled sleeping last night and it’s been bad again today.  I don’t help my self though as I have brought the wheelie bin in, which I should have left for my boyfriend as I don’t like to appear useless.

Good night xxxx

Daily diary – my dog has pinched my toothbrush

Hello it’s a late one today. It’s was my boyfriend sons prom so we went to see him in his suit and car he looked really nice.  Then I had a melt down.  I went to the Doctots as I was stressing that my back isnt great still. He said you have had a major operation and I need to give it time.  It isn’t too slow but I need not to push myself too much.  I think I am getting stressed as I am due to return to work late next week. I think I need to relax and go with the flow.  The doctor says he will give me another sick note next week if I need one.

I angry with my son over next to nothing.  I think it had all got to me.  My daughter contacted me today for the Netflix password I told her that she can’t even speak to me with respect so if she wants Netflix she can pay herself.  She then blocked me for the hundredth time this month. I think enough is enough.  She can contact me when she is nice to me and if not then she can stay away.  I think I was also stressing that m son he will leave me too.  He assured me he is happy and we had a hug, he is 15 and doesn’t hug very often but it was just what we both needed.

I just asked by boyfriend what the dog was chewing he said your toothbrush.  Typical and Bailey has the worse breath ever,  maybe he is a bit conscious of his breath and wants to sort it out. Either way it cheered me up.

Right I had better go as Love Island is on

What a lovely surprise

I have had the most gorgeous bunch of flowers delivered today from a client from work. It’s a lovely gesture and I had made my day 22B840B7-4C37-408C-809D-318C2FDE5E555BA64289-E809-495B-ADBB-11CD6DD4D83B



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