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An over thinkers guide to life, Puggles, family and so much more

Overthinking is a nightmare. Due to a back operation I have too much time on my hands and too much time to think. This is how I deal with it and survive

Tag: trust

What the hell is wrong with me

My life goes from one crisis to another. I never have a few weeks when everything is fine. Something always comes along with more shit. I know people have a lot worse and I should be grateful for what I have. I am but I still get down with circumstances in my life.

I have massive trust issues and this has been caused by past experiences and a narcissist ex partner. He has always make me feel that I am not good enough. Even after all these years I still feel not good enough in anything I do and it really gets me down. “I am not a good enough mum”. “I am not a good enough solicitor”. “I am not a good enough girlfriend”.

Something has happened this morning that has spoilt my trust in my boyfriend. It’s not a massive affair but unacceptable behaviour when you are in a relationship. I am not going to say anymore about what has happened.  I am not going to end it all and throw him out. But I wonder if I can ever trust him again. I know I bleat on about him saying he is wonderful but maybe I am being naive are all men the same?????

I feel that everything that he has said to me over the years are a lie. To a person who hasn’t been lied to so many times over the years or made to feel nothing maybe the explanation is good enough. But to me it’s a massive issue.

Anyone who has been in a narcissistic relationship you learn to build massive walls around you in future relationships and it takes a long time to break down the walls. If anything happens to break the trust no matter how small it is the walls go back up.

Can you ever trust again? Or are you so damaged that you are better on your own. I will be fine and it’s just another obstacle in my life but it has damaged my trust. To me trust is everything.

Only time will tell whether I can get over this and trust him again. Until then my head is full of worry and overthinking.

Pain changes people

This is correct. I have been in pain with my back for years. It made me feel a weak person and made me overthink situations as I was worried that my boyfriend will decide he wants to be with someone who is fitter and able to do more things.

I thought I would be pain free after my operation. I am disapointed as I am still in pain in my right side but my left side is pain free. I hope it’s just part of the healing process. I am seeing the specialise next week so fingers crossed.

This could also mean that the pain suffered at the hands of another can make you mistrust and over think. I think ilmy problem is that I am an overthinker -I overthink every situation too. Sometimes it gets out of hand and it makes me think irrationally. I have to rein myself it sometimes and give myself a real talking to.

breaking someone’s trust

Not only cane things never be thbothered same again in the relationship it also effects any future relationships and these you struggle to trust anyone agein.

I have been cheated on a number of times and I always question my boyfriend. Deep down I know he has never done anything to hurt me and he loves me. It doesn’t stop me questioning him. I also think that this has contributed to my overthinking

I have a really high wall

Be with someone who takes care of you

My boyfriend does this. It was very hard to let go at first as I didn’t need anyone else. Was ok on my own. He looks after me. It’s not a financial thing, but will do anything for me. There is no hassle or blame. He does it cause he wants to do it and cause he loves me.

I now enjoy having someone to love and care about me. It feels amazing after being with a narcissist. It’s very hard to let someone back in. It’s hard to let go and let my barriers down that I have built over the years. I used to feel guilty when my boyfriend did anything for me. Scared that it meant that I was a lazy person. He does it cause he loves me and wants to do it which is the best feeling in the world. Hang in there it is possible to be happy and find love after being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist.

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