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An over thinkers guide to life, Puggles, family and so much more

Overthinking is a nightmare. Due to a back operation I have too much time on my hands and too much time to think. This is how I deal with it and survive

Tag: stress (Page 2 of 9)

Daily diary- Lily come on we are sick of the waiting

Hello

There is still no sign of any puppies we have been on tenterhooks all weekend. We are more worried than anything we want to know that Lily is ok and she has a good birth and there are no health issues.

We obviously excited about the new arrivals too and how many little babies we will need to look after.

I had a Pretty rubbish weekend. Had an issue with my boyfriend. He believed something was acceptable in our relationship which as a person who has been cheated on I will not allow in our relationship. He said he didn’t realise he was doing something wrong but now can see what my issue is. Facebook can cause problems and I do not believe he should message old school friends and place kisses on no matter how innocent it is.  If he wants to do that he should be single. I also asked him if he would be happy with me doing the same and he agreed he wouldn’t. It has damaged me and maybe more that someone who hasn’t been treated the way I have in the past. I am going to try and put this behind me but if it ever happens again he is out.

I feel a bit battered and delicate.

Been to the doctors today and he has upped my pain killers till I get the results of my scan, which I need to have first. I feel a bit spaced out which is helping with the stress of life ha ha.

Anyway hope I can give you good news about the puppies next time I post.

bye xxxxx

The most common cause of stress

The people in your life

Too much stress

When I am too stressed my brain shuts down and I can not think at all. My head starts to feel fuzzy and I have to relax and calm myself down. If I can’t do that a good scream and cry often works it’s belter than holding it all in. I sometimes sound like a mad woman but it usually does the trick.

I do this sometimes at work. In my old job I once had this woman screaming and shouting at me on the phone. She was a maniac and had been doing this for months for no good reason. I put the phone down and I could not stop crying and I kept saying “I hate this woman”. I had a minor breakdown. After I finished ranting I looked at my desk and a box of tissues, glass of water and a cup of coffee had appeared. I felt foolish but it did the trick.

Daily diary – the puppies arrival is imminent

EE3D934D-EF56-4211-8427-A31D350861505F82C5EE-88F4-40C1-B7E5-F9230ECF419AHello

There is great excitement in our house. We think the puppies will be here any day. Lily has milk so that is a sign she will be a new mum soon. It’s a nerve racking time. My partner is really stressed with it. I think he is reading up on it too much. He has bought a heat mat today and said that the nursery ( as he calls it) needs to be a 30 degrees. I even caught him putting the heater on yesterday. God knows why. I am not heating the room to 30 degrees when there are no puppies.

He was even up at 6.30 this morning stressing and I have a feeling he will want to sleep down there tonight. I am more calm about this. Maybe it’s cause I am a mum or the fact my cat has kittens a few years ago while I was out. Now that was stressful as I came home to a kitten on my daughters floor with no sign of the cat. I wrapped it in a towel and eventually found the cat in my sons wardorbe with 6 more kittens,

I will update you daily on the puppy situation and fingers crossed we have some good news soon.

I am still working half days which is good and seeing my consultant on Thursday. I have been in agony since yesterday after I picked 4 files up off the floor stupidly. So going for a lie down. I have now found a new old love for Cagney and Lacey, I used to watch it as a teenager and there are re runs at 2.15 on channel 5.

Speak to you soon.
Xxxxx



Daily dairy – tell me why I don’t like mondays

Hello

I didn’t do much this weekend.  It flew though it’s soon Monday.  I am still doing half days and I am glad at the moment.

Just had a load of abuse from my daughter and ex. She wants money from me again and I said no and got a load of abuse. When will I learn that neither of them will ever change and I am now in tears again,  how the hell have I raised such a nasty spoilt person? Why do I let them both do this to me? Then let them blame everything on me and make me feel like I am the worst person in the world. He tells me that his life has changed dramatically since he has had his daughter.  That I have dumped her on him.  I have abandoned her.

I really couldn’t take any more.  Why do I have to put up with all this abuse ? My son doesn’t behave this way.  He is her Dad why should I have her ? I have put my life on hold for 16 years and because I love her. I still do very very much but I have more respect in myself than be treated like this.  I have done it for years.  Been verbally, mentally abused.  Told how rubbish I am at everything,  Am I a bad person because I have decided enough is enough?

I am a good mum.  I care very much and love very deeply.  I am a good person and always try to help and be as kind as I can to everyone,  I have my faults but I am not the person that they both say I am.  They have the problem not me,

Sorry  for my rambling but I am very hurt yet again.  I am not sending any more messages or contacting them again,

Daily diary- we have made a nursery

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Hello

It’s been a busy day today. I went back to work. I was dreading it but it couldn’t have gone any better. Everyone was really pleased to see me back. No one had an issue with me being off and even the bitchiest woman there even seemed pleased to see me. I also got a hug off two people. All the worrying that I have done over the months have been for nothing. Overthinking and worrying waste energy and make you feel terrible. In future I am not going to overthink and worry so much. If you believe that you believe anything.

My back doesn’t feel great tonight. I could hardly move my leg, which is worrying. I will just have to grin and bare it until I see the specialist next week. I can then speak to him and see if this is normal and exactly what they did in the operation. I am concerned that the operation hasn’t worked. I don’t want to go through this again.

Tonight we have cleared out our junk room and made it into a puppy nursery. We need to get a new bed for lily and and a baby gate at the door so we can split lily and Bailey up if need be. Bailey has been a little monkey tonight. We have a cat door stop and he has chewed the ear off and keeps running off with it. I have ordered a Puggle one off amazon and will take a photo of it when it comes it’s so cute. The dogs are tired out now. Saying that so am I so I am off to bed.

Good night.



Living to please others

In the past this is how I lived my life. In past relationships I felt I had to please them and it got me down. I also used to be like that with my children. Especially my daughter. During my last relationship I felt that I was the only one who tried in the family. It was hard to please everyone and it really got me down. It was an impossible situation.

It’s amazing how now I don’t have to try and be like that anymore. My partner is amazing and we just get on. There is no effort. Also my son is a caring person. He has no agenda and we all life in harmony. After so much shit for so many years life is brilliant and if I can do it so can you.

Remember it’s impossible to please everyone all the time you tire yourself out and are miserable.

Suicide

Daily diary – I’m down but I am not out

5A8459EB-61BF-4ED2-AA66-9CFC1A0E5C8E.jpegHello. It would be so easy to slip into the depths of depression today and it has got me down the situation with my daughter. I lay in bed last night with my head spinning. Do you ever have so much going round your head that it spins. You can’t think straight? I feel like that in times of stress.

Today I woke up feeling a bit better.  Had a lazy day, luckily my work friends have decided we should go out for tea.  It’s been nice and I have felt good tonight.  It’s will be good to get back to work to have some sense of normality. I still want to win the lottery though.

My daughter hasn’t messaged me at all today, she has messaged my son calling me all names under the son,  he wasn’t having any of it and has been sticking up for me.  He was supposed to go to his Dads tonight but has said he isn’t going because of my daughters attitude,  He has really stuck up for me and I really appreciate it,

Right I am off.  Good night xxxxxx

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