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An over thinkers guide to life, Puggles, family and so much more

Overthinking is a nightmare. Due to a back operation I have too much time on my hands and too much time to think. This is how I deal with it and survive

Tag: single parents (Page 1 of 6)

Daily update – well maybe not daily recently

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Hello

It’s a bit of a bribe as I have neglected you. So I have posted a cute picture of Bella our beautiful puppy to win you round. I have had a busy few weeks. I have been busy with the pups and trying to get my candle business up and running. I have also been useless with my diet. I have slightly lost weight but not through dieting but though being back at work and busy.

I have sold lots of candles but mainly to people who I know. Through work and Facebook. I made loads of candles on Saturday and spent all day sorting them out and packaging them up. I had a bright idea to do a car boot sale. We made a profit after paying for the stall but it was about £4.00. For 4 hours work so approximately 50 pence an hour. We also got next to the most annoying person in the world. He never shut up all the time. We were ready to murder someone by the end of it. So that’s it for car boot sales. I have now signed up for some craft sales and hope we will do better. I did manage to sell a heart candle though and had plenty of positive comments.

My diet has been terrible I haven’t tried one bit. I have been back to the specialist today and he has said an operation won’t help me. He has referred me to pain management and physio. I have decided I need to get fit by walking the dogs and trying to build my back up again. I think that’s the only way i can be pain free. I do have carpal tunnel syndrome in my hands he offered to operate but I decided to bear with it as I won’t be able to use my hands for 2 weeks and I can’t spare the time off work.

I feel good that I don’t need an op. Money is tight though at the moment and we have nearly two weeks till my boyfriend gets paid. My daughter has been back with us for a month now and her dad won’t pay me anything. He has even gone on holiday for a week. It gets me furious as she still adored him and can’t see no wrong. We are trying to do what we can but it’s going to be a struggle, but isn’t every month. I hope one day my daughter realises what a dick he is.

I promise I am going to be a better blogger !!!!! See you tomorrow xxxx

This is how many mothers feel but I am the lucky one and have that person

I felt this way for many years. It was all one way. I helped others and no one helped me. The children were young and it was my responsibility to look after them. I am lucky I have now found that special person who is there for me. I am sure my boyfriend feels the same.

If you feel alone and have to do everything yourself. Hang in there that special person might be around the corner



Does anyone know a perfect mother ??

Daily diary – is tonight the night?

Hello

Still no puppies but is tonight the night? Lily has been behaving strangely.  She is restless and keeps panting.  I don’t know if this is the start of labour or not.  She has also been digging in her bed.  We have looked this up on the internet.  It seems like it’s a sign.  We hope it is as this pregancy is taking too long and we are impatient for the puppies.  We will update you as soon as we have some news.

My daughter gets her exam results on Thursday and she has asked me to go with her to pick them up.  I am really pleased as I want to share this moment with her. I have told her not to worry about her results.  I came out of school with one o’level.  That was what it was called when I was at school.i had to retake my exams and it put me a year behind at college but I made new friends,  if she doesn’t pass her exams there is no issue and we will deal with it.

we have been out to dinner to day me, my son and my daughter.  It was nice and we see: to be getting on better.  For the moment though.  I am just going to take every day as it come now and have no expectations.

Right i am  off to bed. Goodnight xxxxx hopefully we will have good news next time we speak

I don’t stop when I am tired

I’m a psychopath

This is so true and I felt the same way about my mum. I now know why my mum did all the things she did and what I thought she did because she was being hard work. In fact she did things because she had to and loved me.

I now have to behave the same with my children and I hope they too grow up and realise that I don’t always like the decisions that I have to make and I do it for their own good. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world.

Daily dairy – tell me why I don’t like mondays

Hello

I didn’t do much this weekend.  It flew though it’s soon Monday.  I am still doing half days and I am glad at the moment.

Just had a load of abuse from my daughter and ex. She wants money from me again and I said no and got a load of abuse. When will I learn that neither of them will ever change and I am now in tears again,  how the hell have I raised such a nasty spoilt person? Why do I let them both do this to me? Then let them blame everything on me and make me feel like I am the worst person in the world. He tells me that his life has changed dramatically since he has had his daughter.  That I have dumped her on him.  I have abandoned her.

I really couldn’t take any more.  Why do I have to put up with all this abuse ? My son doesn’t behave this way.  He is her Dad why should I have her ? I have put my life on hold for 16 years and because I love her. I still do very very much but I have more respect in myself than be treated like this.  I have done it for years.  Been verbally, mentally abused.  Told how rubbish I am at everything,  Am I a bad person because I have decided enough is enough?

I am a good mum.  I care very much and love very deeply.  I am a good person and always try to help and be as kind as I can to everyone,  I have my faults but I am not the person that they both say I am.  They have the problem not me,

Sorry  for my rambling but I am very hurt yet again.  I am not sending any more messages or contacting them again,

Daily diary – anxious

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I have felt really anxious today and can’t put my finger on it. There are a number of reasons. The first one is I have had work ringing me asking me about some files of mine. Nothing to worry about and also an Estate Agent wanting to know when I am back at work. It’s becoming too real now. I have over 2 weeks left and I can’t worry till I go back. I need to try and put it at the back of my mind.

Secondly, my daughter is coming to stay for a few nights. I am worried she will come back with a cocky attitude and we will go back to square one. I am worried that we will argue and it will put strain on my boyfriend and son. As things have been good and we can’t go back to how things have been with my daughter. P

Been out in the car today.  Not gone too far but it’s been ok. So that’s moving forward too.

My Son

last night made me laugh I shouted him into my room before bed I said “good night I hope you sleep ok and I love you”.  He said “oh my god what the hell did you say that for”. My little boy has definitely grown up. He doesn’t like pleasantries anymore.

Its a short one tonight as I am tired and need to go to sleep. Good night speak tomorrow xxxx



Daily diary- a grey and gloomy day today

Weather forecast gloomy

379ECF3D-D890-48CC-B7C1-8C8603334023hello it’s been a grey and gloomy day today. In more ways than one. The weather has been raining all day, which has on the plus side been good for the garden and it’s been crying out for water and it saves us a job of watering it. There is a hosepipe ban next week so any water is good news.

I am afraid my mood is quite gloomy today. I have had a massive run in with my Son. At the moment I feel like the worst parent alive. He has been at his Dads while on work experience and he has come back very anti me and full of anger and rage. It is so unlike him. I told him I wasn’t putting up with being spoken to like this and to earn some respect. I told him not to leave the house as he is grounded. He has gone out anyway and said he is going to his Dads. I have always had this issue when either of them have spent time at their Dads. I am convinced it’s his negativity about me.

Anyone who doesn’t know him would believe I am paranoid as he appears to be charming on the outside, all be it a bit of a dick. Even I sometimes wonder whether I am imagining it. I know I am not. I also think my son is trying it on as his sister is behaved appallingly with me. He thinks he will get away with it. I am sick of not being treated with respect and he will have to face the consequences of being grounded when he gets home.

On a plus side my daughter texted me and said she dreamt about me she said she dreamt that I had been shot and no one told her as she wasn’t living with me. She said she had been texting and ringing and I didn’t answer so she came to see me and I was dead. She said she had been booking a trip to New York for me and my son in her dream. She said she woke up crying. It really touched me and I texted her and said I loved her and asked if she wanted to stay here one night and she hasn’t texted me back.

I think I am feeling a bit hard done to and sorry for myself. I will pull myself together cause I have to. I would just like a few days when things are without problems. Then I feel selfish because a lot of people hhave a lot worse going on in their lives and I have so much to be grateful for.

my son how’s come home really sheepish. That’s one thing about my Son he soon realised he has been out of order and starts to toe the line, but it’s still upsetting when it happens.

Good night I will Speak to you tomorrow



 

 

Daily diary- Karma is a bitch

Karma is a bitch

my Son is home and it’s lovely to see him.  The house has been quiet with no children.  He wasn’t back for 5 minutes when his cash card was broken, he had lost £10 and fallen and cut his leg.  Boys make me laugh what you see is what you get.

Things aren’t good with my daughter and her Dad.  He put a picture of her messing bedroom on Facebook.  They have had a very public falling out on social media which I don’t agree with.  I know I write this blog, but I have done it anonymously as I don’t like airing my dirty laundry in public.  Everyone is too soon to judge and compare themselves.  I do go on social media but usually to look for quotes and be nosey really.  Anyway she has messaged me to say she is going home and her Dad has texted me to say she says she is coming home.  I knew it wouldn’t take long for them to have a big fall out as they are too similar.

I want nothing more than for her to come home, but only want her back on my terms as it has been hell with her for months before she left.  So I am stuck as what to do.  She could come back and things would be how they were.  I can’t put up with it and it’s not fair that my Son or partner is in a war zone again.  She has also been horrible since she left and it has really delayed my recovery.

HELP I need your impartial advise?

Funnily enough her Dad has messaged me despite him also being abusive and cutting me out of her life.  It’s as if I don’t exist.  So I think they can sort it out themselves.

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