Well it’s day 9.  Still not feeling much better. I managed to make tea, but think I am pushing myself too much.  I need to stop stressing and relax about getting better.  The problem is that I feel useless and NEED to relax and stop worrying and thinking about things.

I am really disappointed in my children.  I have a girl who is 16 and a boy who is 15.  They haven’t lifted a finger to help and everything I ask them to do is a major problem for them.  “Can you please bring your plate downstairs “ , “why have you put it next to the dishwasher?, Do you think the dishwasher fairies are going to move it.” “Mum, I will do it in a minute, I am busy” .  They both have jobs to do so that they can get spending money and haven’t done any of their jobs for over a week.  Everything that they don’t do is left for my boyfriend to do, who is being amazing.  It upsets me that I have run around like an idiot for years after the children.  Dropping them off all over the place and generally being at their beck and call.  I have now seen that they really don’t care unless it directly affects them.  Which is very upsetting and it is getting me down.  I think in future I will not be so quick to do anything for them.  I am saying that but in reality as their mum I feel duty bound to be there for them.

My daughter is currently doing her GCSE’s which I know is very stressful for her, but she even said “I am doing my exams and now you are getting all the attention for your back, there is nothing wrong with it anyway and I hope you aren’t going to moan for the next 6 weeks” . Very caring !!!- there are no words ha ha.

Anyway my dogs keep me sane Lily and Bailey, they are so funny and make me laugh all the time.

The weather is quite nice so I think I will sit in the garden for a bit and maybe try and have a walk to the end of the road, I think I am getting a bit fed of of these four walls.  I am really enjoying writing this diary it’s like therapy, anyway bye for now and will check in again in the morning